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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tissue expanders - Boo

The tissue expanders SUCK! I start to feel like I will survive, and then I get them inflated. This happens every Wednesday, and tomorrow should be my last 60 mls and then I will finally be at the max. Hallelujah! I was joking that I always wanted breasts that were more firm, and in a higher position, but this is not the way to go about it for sure. Next week I should be good to go with starting radiation. I was supposed to meet with my radiation oncologist last Thursday, but got the appointment day wrong and missed it. I have so many appointments, I can't keep up with them all. So now it will be Friday. This week is also busy because we are still trying to decided if I need herceptin. My oncologist suggested that I meet with some other oncologist to get their recommendations. So, tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr. Beck and then on Thursday with Dr. Buys. I'm pretty sure they're going to say no herceptin and in that case, I will feel good about not doing it. I also want to talk with dr buys about when to get my ovaries removed since she is the BRCA expert. My pathology showed that the tumor was 100% gone in my breast, but I had 2 microscopic bits of cancer in 2 lymph nodes. So not perfect, but still good because I already knew I had 2 positive nodes from the get go, and they were very positive instead of just having microscopic areas with cancer. Still having good and bad days, and am tired of thinking about cancer! I wish there was a surgery that could remove it from my brain. I have always heard people talk about survivorship, but now I realize how hard it is to move into that mode. I feel sometimes like I will never be the same because I am so preoccupied with it. I would give anything right now to not think of it for 24 hours. It helps to keep myself busy, so that is what I am doing. We are getting back into somewhat of a routine after the surgery. I took Zachy to get his first haircut today, Sam also got his done. Emily and Sam will be starting soccer again and Jake is doing spring football. Emily and Jake are still doing piano lessons, so we have a lot to keep me busy. During the day while the kids are in school I usually walk or ride my bike. I am hoping with the OK of my plastic surgeon, I can start running again this week! I am also good at inventing little errands to run, like trips to Ikea, or taking Sam to hires for ice cream and a caffeine free diet coke with lime for me. I would love to start working again, but now I have to start radiation and do my reconstruction. So hopefully in June I will be able to get back to my normal life and start working again. Ps. No lymphedema yet, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!